Planetary Conjunction

Dear Madame L,

I know you don't truck with horoscopes. (I don't know what "truck with" means, but I heard some famous person say it recently. Possibly Donald Trump. Because "truck" and "Trump" kind of sound the same.)

But what about planetary conjunctions? Don't they have some significance? (I'm asking because I heard there's a planetary conjunction coming up this week, and I want to be ready in case it signals the end of the Earth. Or whatever.)

Sincerely (or not),

Looking up at the Stars All Night

Dear Stargazer,

Well, you're right about one thing: Madame L certainly does not truck with horoscopes. But if you think planetary conjunctions have some significance, you're wrong, wrong, and wrong again.

For her readers for whom the term "planetary conjunctions" is new, these are when we can see, from Earth, some of the other planets "line up" or be grouped close enough together that we can see them on the same night, evening, or early morning.

There's a planetary conjunction coming up next week, in fact. Problem is, if you were anywhere else in the universe, three or four planets being visible at a time would mean nothing to you, Madame L, or anyone else.

So while superstitious folks and those with little or no knowledge of how the universe works may think the planets lining up represent some kind of portent, they're wrong.

It would be beautiful to see the four planets on May 12, though. Look up to the eastern sky just before the sun comes up. You should be able to see Venus and Jupiter --- the brightest objects in the night sky, after the moon. You may also be able to see Mercury down and to the right of Venus. And, down and to the left of Jupiter, you may be able to see Mars. Binoculars will help you see Mercury and Mars.

Keep on looking up,

Madame L

Organic Cigarettes

Dear Madame L,

I just found an amazing ad in one of my favorite magazines for cigarettes made from organic tobacco! Is that great or what? 

What do you think about that?

Smoking organically

Dear Smoked,

Oh, you love to tease Madame L, don't you, my dear reader. 

Wikipedia has a very comprehensive article about smoking and lung cancer, including a fairly grisly image of a lung of a smoker.

Madame L supposes that if you want your various cancers (and heart disease, emphysema, high blood pressure, decreased fertility, bad breath, stained fingers, etc.) to be organic, you should go ahead and smoke those organic coffin nails.

Good luck,

Madame L

A Hat is a Hat, Not This and Not That

Dear Madame L,

Don't you feel sorry for Princess Beatrice, wearing that outrageously and totally awesomely ugly hat to the wedding of William and Kate?

Sincerely,

Laughing my way to the mad hatter's 

Dear Laughing,

Are you admitting you watched the wedding? Shame on you!

It appears that Princess Beatrice's wedding hat was just one in a series of outrageous hats.

If you always wished you were a princess, Madame L hopes this has quenched any such wish.

Hats off to the British,

Madame L

Non-Regulation Golf Balls

Dear Madame L,

How many dimples does a non-regulation golf ball have?

Signed,

Just Wondering

Dear Golfer,

As many as it wants.

Best, 

Madame L

Rule of Law

Dear Madame L,

I'm so confused, with people on the Right and Left ends of American politics accusing each other of breaking the law and depriving us of our rights. And I'm sick of all the shouting and incivility I'm seeing all around me.

What can I do about it?

Sincerely,

Help!

Dear Friend,

Madame L has also been struggling lately with how to find out the truth about who is doing what to whom, and with what financial backing; and why incivility, clownishness, greed, and corruption seem to be pushing their way to the forefront of politics. 

Your question, and the issues, are huge, and a quick Internet search won't always lead to good answers, as you know.

However, Madame L has recently read a review of a book titled "The Rule of Law," by Tom Bingham, which helped her think about whether America remains true to the ideals which have in the past defined us. Tom Paine wrote that in America, law is king, meaning the law as written and practiced is fair, impartial, and reflects actual justice. 

So, when you, Dear Reader, look at the following list of axioms that would ensure that law is king, you may ask yourself if these apply in America now:

1. Laws must be clear, predictable and public.

2. As far as possible, laws, not an executive’s discretion, should govern.

3. Laws must apply equally.

4. Laws must protect fundamental human rights, the rights of living people.

5. The cost to use the law, to defend our rights, must be reasonable, with public aid provided to make it so.

6. Public officials have a duty to act in good faith, to use restraint, to operate within the recognized limits of their powers.

7. Procedures in court must be open and fair. They must bind the state in the same way they bind those in conflict with it.

8. Binding law inherently includes international treaties and customary laws.

If it appears to you that even one of these principles is not being practiced now, you may want to vote in such a way as to place in office leaders who will put these into practice. You may even want to campaign for such candidates.

Good luck, and may God bless America,

Madame L

Trumped by Trump?

Dear Madame L,

I was amazed that President Obama gave in to Donald Trump's demands to show his "long-form" birth certificate. You know that still doesn't prove that Obama is worthy to be president. Trump has pointed out that Obama still has a lot to prove.

And now I read that the Republicans are blaming Obama for all the publicity, as if HE were the one trying to distract the American people from the important issues facing them.

Why would Obama want to do that?

Un-re-born birther

Dear Birther,

President Obama most definitely would NOT want to bring up all that publicity, so I don't know why he gave in to it. It's like giving in to a bully: instead of making the meanness stop, it encourages the bully to keep doing it.

Madame L believes that Trump and his ilk are appealing to deep-seated racism when they claim Obama is not really quite an American, that he couldn't have gotten good grades in college and law school, didn't deserve to be editor of the Harvard Law Review, etc., etc., etc.

Madame L wonders why no one is challenging Trump's credentials. Remember his bankruptcies? His marriage failures and affairs? His ridiculous "reality" TV shows on NBC? 

In fact, MSNBC has admitted that Trump's whole supposed bid for the presidency is "a cynical PR stunt" for his next season's show.

Madame L wonders why Obama and the Democratic Party keep giving in to this stuff. Where's their backbone? Maybe their liberal stance makes them not want to engage in the demagoguery and lies of people like Trump, Gingrich, Bachmann, Palin, Taitz, and that whole gang. 

But, Madame L asks, why not stand up for yourselves and the Middle Class? Do you doubt the intentions of the moneyed conservatives to destroy Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Pell grants, and other social mechanisms that have enabled the rest of us to live decently? Madame L has no doubt that those wealthiest 1% of Americans (who earn more than everyone in the bottom 50% combined) would love to continue to amass wealth, power, and political influence without a thought for the rest of us.

Madame L must end her reply before she pops a blood vessel. However, she would like to encourage all of you Dear Readers to keep reading the news and questioning the "facts" and your own previous assumptions about politics and politicians.

Also, although Madame L has said this before, she must repeat her plea to all her readers to pray for the future of our country and our people.

Also Praying,

Madame L

Useless Fact O' The Day

Dear Readers,

Would you be astounded to know that a regulation golf ball has 336 dimples?

No? 

Best, Madame L