Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears

Dear Readers,

If you need a laugh today, please check out the page for this product. 

Do not order the product for yourself. In fact, do not even bother to look at the product's description, although you may be edified by this safety warning:

"Consumption of some sugar-free candies may cause stomach discomfort and/or a laxative effect.  Individual tolerance will vary.  If this is the first time you’ve tried these candies, we recommend beginning with one-fourth of a serving size or less. Made with Lycasin, a sugar alcohol. As with other sugar alcohols, people sensitive to this substance may experience upset stomachs."

Then, warning in mind, scroll down and read the funniest reviews ever. For example:

"As I type this review, I'm on the toilet, surrounded by my dearest family and friends and a priest. I'm not exactly sure whether this is an exorcism or if I'm getting my last rites read to me. This very well could be my final crowning moment. I may never make it back to my feet. What a way to go. Will I go out by suffocating in a toxic byproduct stench? Will I croak from my body expelling all essential nutrients for life? Is this the apocalypse?..."

Perhaps you'd like to order the product for, say, your member of Congress. Or your former significant other who broke up with you by e-mail.


Madame L

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