Sunday, June 23, 2013

Best-Ever Response to Cease-and-Desist Letter

Dear Readers,

Yes, Madame L is back! And, yes, Madame L knows you have many pressing questions to which she, and she better than anyone else on this planet or even (ahem!) Mars knows the answers.

However, to begin with, instead of answering your burning questions, Madame L wants to give you some humor for the week.

To wit, this example of a most excellent and even humorous and (Madame L believes, but is not positive, since the extent of her so-called legal training consists of reading police/law procedurals plus the occasional "Law and Order," response to a cease-and-desist letter.

Here's the cease-and-desist letter itself:

May 23,2013


Mr. Jeff [sic] Freivald
10 Ridgeview Avenue
West Orange, New Jersey 07052

   Re: Demand to Cease and Desist From Use of Domain Name

Dear Mr. Freivald:

I am the Township Attorney for the Township of West Orange ("Township"). It has come to our attention that, on or about May 13, 2013, you registered and began to use the domain name "" (the "Info Domain"). The Township interprets this action as an effort by you to confuse and conflate the Township's official domain name and Web site with the Info Domain that you maintain.

The use of the Township's name is unauthorized and is likely to cause confustion [sic], mistake or to deceive the public and may be a violation of the Township's federally protected rights. The Info Domain falsely creates the impression that the Township is associated or affiliated with the Info Domain. At a minimum, this action has been taken with constructive knowledge of the Township's name and Web site, and constitutes bad faith use of the Info Domain.

Accordingly, the Township demands that you cease and desist from use, ownership and maintenance of the Info Domain. The Township further demands that, within ten (10) days, the Info Domain be withdrawn from the current registrar, and that you cease all current and future use of the Info Domain, or anything else confusingly similar thereto.

The Township reserves all rights and remedies.

Please be guided accordingly.

Very truly yours,

Richard D. Trenk, Township Attorney 

Here's the Web site that prompted the letter.

And here's the wonderful and even awe-inspiring response:

There! Now, wasn't that funny? Aren't you glad you read all the way through to the end?

Madame L will be back to answering her Dear and Gentle Readers' questions about global warming, the polar caps of Mars, 17-year cicadas, immunization of children, and other such urgent and pressing issues, very very soon.

Please keep those questions coming!

Best wishes,

Madame L

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