Sex, Lies, and Politicians

Dear Madame L,

You keep writing that we should keep up with politics, but I don't know where to read information that will really be helpful, or even truthful. It seems like running for the Republican presidential nomination is a national joke: Everyone keeps saying that Romney and Pawlenty are the only "serious" candidates, but then they keep talking about Gingrich, Huckabee, Palin, Santorum, and even Trump as if they're taking them seriously. 

Nobody, not even me, could have actually taken Trump seriously. Did you see how in every press conference when they asked him about that, he talked first about his great program, "Celebrity Apprentice," and how he was looking forward to that?

And did you see Huckabee's announcement about how he had decided not to run, after all? That great "Christian" guy with his family values, announcing at the END of his show, after he played bass to accompany ultimate douche-bag Ted Nugent's rendition of ultimate woman-hating anthem "Cat-Scratch Fever"? I thought I was going to cry when Huckabee talked about how he had decided not to seek the Republican nomination because "...my heart says no." (kidding --- I thought I was going to puke from the hypocrisy)

Please, how can people like me figure out which pundits or reporters we can trust?

Sincerely,

Confused

Dear Confused,

Madame L is glad you asked this question. Madame L has also been overwhelmed by the pandering and cynicism of the media in covering the would-be, wannabe, and actual Republican candidates. 

No wonder you and so many others are confused. Did you know that NBC News and the Washington Post are now owned by Comcast, which also owns General Electric and Universal (and probably some others that Madame L doesn't remember right now)? 

Therefore Madame L is surprised at herself for being surprised at NBC's coverage of Donald Trump's supposed candidacy, which certainly benefited NBC and its advertisers as much as it did Trump himself.

Did you know that when Fox News announced on March 2 that it was suspending candidates Santorum and Gingrich from their contracts on May 1 unless they notified Fox that they would not be running for president, Huckabee and Palin were included in that decision by Fox? 

Therefore Madame L is surprised at ANYONE for being surprised that Huckabee and Palin have decided not to run for president. Madame L is surprised that Huckabee said his "heart" told him not to run, unless his heart is a bank account waiting to be filled by his Fox salary. Palin hasn't announced yet that she won't be running, but that's only because her greed for money and fame also motivate her to hang onto her place on the fence as long as she can.

Madame L has mentioned in earlier writings the comments by one of Gingrich's former wives that he was pretending to run for president only for the money; and one of Madame L's faithful reader/commenters has pointed out that Gingrich's huge speaking fees depend on his news currency, which explains his entrance into the race and his willingness to embarrass us as a nation with his pseudo-intellectual and moronic comments. (Madame L just wonders, for one thing, how many times can you call everyone a "Nazi" before people stop thinking you know what you're talking about.)

Madame L is will now be entertaining guesses from all of you, Dear Readers, on how long Gingrich will stay in the running. Madame L suspects that the last thing Republican leaders want is that loser as their candidate. Madame L will be watching eagerly to see the maneuvering Boehner et al. will be going through to ease Gingrich out of there.

But, Madame L digresses. To answer your question, Confused, Madame L suggests that you believe those reporters and pundits who have correctly called the race so far. Madame L will enlarge upon this idea in a coming column.

Best,

Madame L