What if Newt Gingrich Runs for President?

Dear Madame L,

What do you think of Newt Gingrich?  What do you think of his chances of winning the presidency in 2012? Also, would you vote for him?

Signed,

Confused Voter

Dear Voter,

First, in a word, Eeeeeww.

Second, Madame L thinks his chances of becoming president are nil. In fact, Madame L notes that Gingrich's second wife says he lied to her when he married her, lied to her when he divorced her, lied to everyone about when he started dating his first wife; she adds that he's not really interested in becoming president as much as he is in getting rich.

Yes, she sounds bitter. Why, you may ask? After all, she's the wife he married after visiting his first wife in the hospital while she was recovering from breast cancer surgery to talk to her about the divorce. Double eeeeeeww.

And then you remember that he divorced her, the second wife, after having an affair with a Congressional staffer, who became his third wife. Triple eeeeeewww.

More importantly, Madame L remembers when Gingrich became Speaker of the House of Representatives in 1995, and the disaster that followed. And she remembers how his own party arranged for him to lose that job because he did such a bad job of it.

Third, not even when the residents of that fiery place of eternal damnation are skating around on ice skates would Madame L vote for Gingrich. For dogcatcher. For lamplighter. For anything.

Sincerely and with immense repugnance,

Madame L