Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Concerned About Dentition? This One's For You!

Dear Readers,

In case you haven't checked the Comments lately, here is a recent comment written by Pricklypear in reply to Madame L's answer about teething babies, with a brief reply:

Dear Madame L,

I have another question about teeth, well, about toothpaste really. I have a tube of toothpaste here that says on it in small print, "For better results, squeeze tube from bottom." Could consistently squeezing the toothpaste tube from the bottom really give you a better toothbrushing experience and cleaner teeth?

Sincerely,

Concerned About Dentition


Dear Concerned:

Madame L is as concerned as you are about your having a healthy and productive toothbrushing experience! 

She remembers fondly a friend who said she almost left her husband because he persisted in squeezing the toothpaste tube from the bottom, while she preferred the middle. 

Madame L's friend and her husband went into serious therapy over it and were featured in a prominent women's magazine article which explored whether their marriage could be saved. It was. 

The solution was to buy separate tubes for each of them, using the money they got from the publicity. They also each chose different brands. She is now trying to work out a deal with a major cable TV distributor for a reality show on bathroom hygiene. Madame L believes her friend is delusional, because not even cable TV audiences would watch a show on bathroom hygiene. 

On the other hand, Madame L's friend claims her teeth are whiter than her husband's. So there's that.

Best,
Madame L

2 comments:

Josie and Wayne said...

Thanks for the laugh. Both of you.

Jeff said...

Don't bet your life savings on not seeing a reality show on bathroom hygiene...

I personally carry a Swiss Army knife wherever I go except PDX airport. I also carry a 10x handlens on my keys, but that's another story. The SAK is useful in making a clean, unobtrusive slit up the side of a toothpaste tube. This allows one to statistically sample the contents evenly - no "new paste" vs. "old paste" issues arise that way.

It is also immensely entertaining when someone else picks up the tube and starts to squeeze from any end...