Sunday, April 10, 2011

Spa Week

Dear Madame L,

One of my friends thinks I should go to an event at a local spa with her. The event is called "Spa Week," and these places that usually charge a lot of money are only charging $50 for some of their most popular services. It's coming right up. What do you think?


Wanting to Get Beautiful for Spring

Dear Beautiful,

Here's the thing. This is a big marketing gimmick, and Madame L is embarrassed to be answering this question.

And, because truth is beauty and beauty is truth, Madame L has got to tell you this: YOU ARE ALREADY BEAUTIFUL! So is your friend, even though it seems she doesn't think so.

Not to get all Oprah on you or anything, but Spring will absolutely adore you, whether you go to some spa or not. 

Personally, Madame L wouldn't waste the fifty bucks. But she would also never tell you not to.

If Madame L did want to spend some fun time with a friend getting even more gorgeous than she already is, she would do it at home.

Yours always,

Madame L


Ellen said...

Dear Madame L,
What's a good way to contact you with a question, other than leaving a comment on a post? Is there an email address where you can be reached? I seem to remember you mentioning one in one of your introductory posts, but I can't find it anywhere on your blog.
Thanks in Advance,
Miss Anonymous

AskTheGeologist said...

The algorithm for how a marketer works:

1. Sit in a Mall wait-for-your-spouse area. Look and eavesdrop for something that people around you are mentioning that worries them...
2. Repeat #1 with different search filter: Look for something that people THINK they need...
3. Locate a place that will charge rent but not ask questions.
4. Develop a sleek packaging that addresses those perceived needs (:=WANTS)...
5. Lie and promise shamelessly, knowing full well that the FTC cannot police EVERY sleazeball in the country, ALL at the same time...
6. Put small print disclaimers on the bottom to give a thin veneer of cover - in case you have to hire a lawyer to plea bargain your most valued treasure (your butt) from going to jail ("results shown may not be typical...")
7. Get the money UP FRONT. Emphasis.
8. Plan your vacation to Barbados, get that newest BMW brochure.
9. Fulfill YOUR perceived "needs".
10. Go to 1.